Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The adults are the big ones right?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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