and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
