Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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