I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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