I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
