hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
