We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
