Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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