Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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