so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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