Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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