Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Boobs speak an international language.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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