I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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