Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
