the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
