I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize