I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
