Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize