I heard we made out
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
