i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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