Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize