so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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