I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
