i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
