we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
