Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
