this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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