YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
