is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
