He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
