I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
