Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
