for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
