I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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