I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize