Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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