Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
