She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
