There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
