your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
