honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
