so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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