Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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