You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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