Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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