I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
