All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
