no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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