So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
