Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My breath smells like gin and sadness
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
