There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
