I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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