i love accidental penises.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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