You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
