Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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