After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
