Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
