Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
