So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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