I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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