You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
