i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
