I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
