was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
