butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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