I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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