Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
