Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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