Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
