Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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