my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
