Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
