I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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