im about as happy as oj after his trial
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
