the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
