if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
