If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
